Wrapped in a Ribbon
by Silver Spider
Summary: Dingo faces every man's dilemma: what to get your girlfriend for her birthday. Robyn/Dingo. “Bad Guys”-inspired one-shot.


_**Author's Note:**_ One-shot fic I wrote largely for my own amusement and to de-stress from finals a little. Can, but doesn't have to, be tied in to my other "Bad Guys" one-shots collection.

**Wrapped in a Ribbon**

**By: Silver Spider**

"So," Dingo slouched in the rolling chair and pushed bit back and forth with his foot. "I notice today's the 18th... of June."

They were downstairs in the lab. Only the briefest shift in her glance to the lower right corner of the computer screen told him Robyn had actually heard what he said even though her hands never once paused in their flight over the keyboard.

"So it is," she agreed blandly.

"Which makes tomorrow the 19th."

"That _is_ usually how it works, yes."

He could not quite tell if it was humor or sarcasm, but Dingo persisted. "Meaning your birthday."

"I know."

The lack of enthusiasm did not surprise him. This was Robyn, after all. She got more excited about upgrades to the base's tech than anything that had to do with her personal life.

"You know, most women would kill to find a man who remembers these things," he prompted. "Birthdays, anniversaries..."

"You're welcome to go find one of those," at least this time the corner of her mouth turned up slightly.

"Clever," it was his turn to sound dry. "Very clever, but I'm serious. What am I getting' you?"

Dingo scooted his chair closer to hers and taking hold of the base with both hands turned it so that the keyboard was out of her immediate reach. Robyn sighed and rolled her eyes, but finally gave him her undivided attention though the expression on her face was one of a person pacifying a small child.

"I appreciate the thought, Harry, but really, I'm past the age where I need cake and balloons."

"'Course. Those are a given. I wanna know what you _want_ for your birthday."

"A 2TB external hard drive."

"Boring. Don't you want anything non-work-related? 'Cause you know, if you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to call Fox and ask her what women are into now a day."

She tried not to comment on the fact that Fox might very well advise him in the direction of electronics as well, but a very _very_ different kind of electronics. The mental image of the expression on his face during that phone conversation was almost worth it to let him make the call, but Robyn decided to spare him. She made a dramatic sigh and pretended to think.

"Hugh Jackman."

"Pardon!" he was completely indignant.

She just shrugged and turned back to her work. Dingo stared at her for a moment then shuffled his chair back to its original position in front of a different terminal and booted the machine. Robyn did not even have to look to know that he was probably typing the name into a search engine to find out who this Hugh Jackman person was. A good half hour passed, and his frown grew steadily deeper.

"What's with this guy, anyway?" Dingo made a gesture at the screen as if the content was somehow offensive. "What's he got that makes all these girls trail after him like that?"

"Looks, talent..."

"What talent?"

"He's a very good actor, sings, and dances. He's been in a few musicals. Not to mention he's got a damn sexy accent."

"'m not amused."

"That's funny," she smiled sweetly. "I am."

* * *

Dingo was gone when she awoke the next morning. Which was not particularly odd, but there was not so much as a note, "Happy Birthday" card, or even any indication that he ever went to bed at all the night before.

She spent the day on various projects, but it was getting late and there was still no word from him. Robyn checked the usual places – the training room, the rec room, the kitchen – then decided that the other members of the squad would be easier to track down for inquiry.

Yama was in his dojo, meticulously testing out his newly acquired second sword after the previous had broken. High tech fire fights were not kind to medieval Japanese weapons, but swords were still what he felt most comfortable using. He almost learned not to be heart-broken every time one was lost. Almost. The gargoyle turned at the sound of her footsteps, but Robyn remained in the doorway. It was rude to walk into the dojo without removing ones shoes, and she was not planning to stay long.

"Good evening," he nodded his head politely.

"Evening. Have you, by chance, seen Harry? I can't find him anywhere, and he's not answering his cell."

"Not tonight," the gargoyle shook his head. "Is something amiss?"

"No, not really. I'll keep looking. Let me know if you see him."

"Of course. Happy birthday, by the way."

She went down to her lab not because she expected to find him there, but because Matrix liked to sit on top of the consoles in puddle form and continuously absorb data that came in through the main terminal. She did find the A.I. there, but to Robyn's dismay Fang was lounging at her work station, half-eaten sandwich in hand and using the large screen of the terminal as a television.

"Get off my machine," she glared at the mutate, then turned to the silvery puddle of nanites. "Matrix, I'm looking for Dingo. Do you know where he is?"

He was always 'Harry' in her mind, but the A.I. recognized his field name easier. A humanoid head emerged from the puddle and turned towards her.

"Yes."

_Success!_

"Could you tell me?"

A small pause this time. "Yes."

Robyn was getting annoyed. There were times she swore the hive mind machine was playing up its literal mindedness. She tried again.

"_Would_ you please tell me?"

There was a sound akin to that of a processor attempting to calculate an NP-complete problem, then...

"No."

The head disappeared back into the puddle.

Robyn's jaw slightly dropped. The A.I. was... purposefully withholding information?! Information completely irrelevant to its self-appointed function of serving law and order. There was only one real reason why it would do so: Dingo had asked. Which logically meant that wherever he was, he did not want her to know about it.

She whirled her ice-blue gaze back to Fang, but the mutate only shrugged.

"Might wanna check down in the garage," he said through a mouth-full of sandwich.

Robyn bristly walked out of the lab heading down to the lowest level, and when the door slid shit behind her, Matrix's head emerged from its puddle form. Fang could not tell, but he could have sworn the A.I. was glaring at him.

"What?" he said defensiveness. "It's not like she wouldn't have noticed something as glaringly obvious as the chopper missing."

She had noticed it. And the whole base heard it the exact moment she did. The lab door slid open again moments later, and a very angry Robyn stalked back inside.

"You," she fixed Fang with a death glare, "are going to tell me exactly where he went, and why he took my helicopter."

Technically it was the squad's helicopter, but Robyn was the one who spent the time maintaining and upgrading it. Fang was not about to argue the point. She scared him at the moment just a little.

"I guess he could be...," the mutate rolled his eyes to the ceiling as if it held the answer that might save him from her wrath. "Could be... homesick?"

If life was a cartoon or comic book, an image of the Earth with a dashed red line indicating the helicopter's path starting from Paris, wrapping around the planet, and ending up somewhere in the middle of the Australian continent would have appeared above her head. At least that was the exact image in her mind.

"Why is he in Australia?!"

"Technically," Matrix volunteered from the computer console. "Harry Monmouth is still registered as an Australian citizen."

* * *

Dingo was exhausted but incredibly pleased with himself. He managed to return to Paris before the end of Robyn's birthday and find the perfect gift. With the helicopter safely parked, he took the stairs two at a time up to the main levels, grinning to himself. It did not even fade when he crossed paths with a very serious looking Yama. Nothing to worry about; the Japanese gargoyle was always serious, but he seamed even more so than usual.

"I hope your trip was productive."

"Very. Where's Robyn?"

"In the lab, I assume," Dingo started in the direction, but the gargoyle caught his shoulder. "You would do well to tread lightly."

"Oh?" he made face and groaned. "Oh. She noticed, huh? How much does she know?"

"Only that you went to Australia," another groan. "I would not usually say this, but in Fang's defense, Hunter can be quite... intimidating."

Only momentarily thrown, Dingo's smile returned. "Don't worry. I have it all under control."

_Famous last words_, Yama shook his head as he watched him go.

She was not in the lab, which surprised him more than a little. Instead Dingo found her in the living room sitting on the small sofa, legs tucked under her body, beat up old paperback in hand.

"This is probably the first time I've ever actually seen you relaxing," he strode in casually, hands clasped behind his back.

"It's my birthday," she turned a page. "I can do whatever I want."

"Right, yeah, 'course," Dingo nodded in complete agreement. "So I hear I'm in trouble."

Robyn barely looked up from her book. "No."

"No?" he was expecting to get yelled at and her passivity took him by surprise.

"I was angry for a while," she admitted. "Seeing as how you disappeared, took my helicopter..."

"Squad's helicopter..."

"...to go halfway around the world for some unknown reason. All on my birthday, no less. But then I realized that if you don't care, I don't care," she went back to her book.

Ah, so it wasn't passivity at all. It was passive-aggressiveness.

"Don't you want to know _why_ I went halfway around the world on your birthday, no less?" he coaxed.

"Not particularly."

"Come on, don't be like that. Not when I went to so much trouble to bring you your present."

That did get her attention. Robyn's brow creased a little, and she gave him a what-on-earth-are-you-talking-about look. He grinned again then pulled out a small flat square package wrapped in red ribbon from behind his back and hanged it to her triumphantly.

"Happy birthday, princess."

She shook her head, mildly annoyed at the nickname, and unwrapped the gift. A moment later she was holding a CD case and turned it over in her hands.

"'Beauty and the Beast: The Broadway Musical'," Robyn raised a brow. "Okay, this probably wins a slot in the 'Top Random Gifts' award category, so I'll bite. Why this? And why did you need to go to Australia to get it?"

Dingo just stared at her. "'Cause," he pointed at the top row which read 'Original Australian Cast Recording', "that Jackman person is in it. Plays the bad guy."

He could almost see the wheels in her head turning, replaying the previous day's conversation. Then Robyn threw her head back and laughed. He did not quite know how to take it. It was either a very good or very bad thing.

"It was bloody hard to find," Dingo continued. "I tried all the usual places. There was one old copy on Ebay, but there was no way it was gonna get here in time, if ever, and... you don't like it, do you?"

She tried very hard to sober, then put it down on the coffee table and pulled him down on the couch next to her and kissed his cheek.

"No, I love it," Robyn managed between giggles. "Really. I do. I love that you went to this ridiculous length, and I especially love the fact that you took me seriously when I was just trying to be funny."

"What?" he had a what could only be described as a deer-in-headlights look.

"Oh, Harry," she laughed again. "You can be such a dork sometimes, you know that? Hugh Jackman's great and all, but unfortunately for him I happen to be in love with another gentleman from Down Under."

This time it was not his cheek she kissed.


End file.
